The agony and the ecstasy

This is my reward. Yesterday I decided I definitely needed a sports massage. Nothing was in pain, but my hips, knees and IT band felt tight and achy. So I went to see Annabelle at Ambition Fitness. She went to work on my calves and quads and I am officially tight. It hurt more than acupuncture or the dentist, and I laughed throughout, mainly because I was paying for someone to torture me. 

Afterwards, I went swimming, which may have been a very good idea. At least I felt loosened up, and was able to walk properly to the station. The burrito is my reward and honestly was amazing. Hunger is the best spice and there's something about swimming that makes me very hungry. 

I am booked for more torture massage next week and I'm curious what difference it will make. In keeping with the 'look to long term goals, rather than short term', I'm willing to have a massage regularly if it helps keep me moving. We shall see...

End of the week running review: 11 May 2014

It's been a pretty good week, and I'm pleased with my progress. 

Not relevant to this blog post, but these ducks have been

courting round our way. I think she prefers the guy on the

left.

Monday: Ran 30 minutes trying to keep my heart rate at around 141 BPM. This was pretty hard, and I had to walk around 4 times to let my heart rate come down. Ran 2.54 miles at a pace of 11:47 minutes per mile. I'm not fast, but this is slow for me. Still, have decided to commit to this for 4 weeks to see what happens. 

Wednesday: Another 30 minutes at 141 BPM, this time around St James's Park and Green Park. This was harder because the plane trees are chucking pollen and fuzz about and I had to stop to cough several times, which also brings the old heart rate up. On my way out from work, I saw that our security guys are wearing clear goggles to keep this stuff out of their eyes. Smart people. Ran 2.47 miles at a pace of 12:13 minutes per mile. 

Thursday: Swam 30 minutes, ~30 lengths. I'm trying to do a few legs only, which is meant to be good for hips and ankle flexibility. I'm even slower at swimming than running, so this is very tedious. However, I do enjoy the feeling of whole body tiredness afterwards. Last week I had the best night's sleep I can remember after swimming, and my fitbit flex confirms it. 

Friday: Another 30 minutes in St James's Park and Green Park. The pollen was, if anything, worse, and at one point I thought I was actually going to have an asthma attack. However, I plugged on. Ran 2.32 miles at a pace of 12:55 minutes per mile. 

Saturday: Did some body weights and stretching. After swimming and Friday's run, my knees are feeling a little sore. Nothing to worry about too much, I think, but I'm glad today is a rest day. Need to work on my IT band and glutes, I think. 

Sunday: Another 30 minute run close to home. The first ten minutes were a little difficult in terms of pace and I had to walk a few times. However, the middle 15 minutes or so were my best yet. Ran 2.58 miles at a pace of 11:38 minutes per mile. It may be early to tell, but I think that might be the start of an improvement. Stretching afterwards. 

So, finding this hard - in terms of actually doing what I'm trying to do - but feeling positive about how this week has gone. 

The perfect hair

In a change from recent settings, I want to write today about hair. And more specifically shampoo. Not just shampoo, oh no, but also <intake of breath> conditioner. Yes, we are looking to write about things that really matter here on this blog. 

A pretty good hair day for me.

I have struggled with my hair for years. I quite liked being a bit red-haired as a child because so many heroines in children's books are red-headed. Obviously there's Anne of Green Gables, and Pippi Longstocking, but there's also the wonderful Alanna from the books by Tamora Pierce. There's some good movie and TV redheads like Willow in Buffy the Vampire Slayer as well. I was less keen on it being wavy on average, although this means curly underneath and straight on top. 

Growing older, I longed to have long, straight, dramatic dark hair. I think I wanted to look like a girl with a secret or maybe it was just the fact that I was a bit of a teen goth. I never dyed my hair, but I do remember thinking that if there was a heaven, that I would have brunette hair there and (bonus) would be able to to the splits. 

Move onto the working world, and for years I felt my hair should project the idea that I was reliable, responsible and capable. I don't think it ever really has. I have used straighteners and had a Brazilian keratin treatment (my hair broke off in chunks). I have tried so many hundreds of times to blow dry it myself. Typically it looks good once every 6 months, when I get it cut. I have tried hundreds of shampoos from supermarket to high end, all of which promise to de-frizz and tame hair. Weirdly they often work once, but rarely twice. 

And then last summer, aged 38, I heard of the 'curly girl' method. I spent a weekend while W was away playing around with it and I've not looked back since. I've tried to convert my sister and mother, but unsuccessfully to date... This sounds daft, but I had never thought of my hair as curly, but rather as straight with a problem attitude. 

I'm currently using Pureology shampoo and conditioner, the shampoo being no-sulphate. Previously, I've used Inecto coconut conditioner and a cheap Superdrug conditioner as a co-wash, and I've also splashed out on Devacurl products via Amazon. I loved Devacurl, but it's a bit pricey for constant use.

I've also found that the two best things to keep the curl in my hair (which is still on the wavy rather than curly side) are a creamy leave-in conditioner and hair gel. Again, I never figured out gel before (apart from the one-off buzzcut I had in the eighties and regretted within 2 days. That used gel as I grew it out).  I'm using Shea Moisture and Curl Junkie at present and it smells divine. 

Looking forward, I want to try  Wen products as a treat when the Pureology runs out, and I'd also like to try Jessicurl products, more Shea Moisture and Curl Junkie (although sadly Curl Junkie is no longer being sold in the UK). 

Having written this blog, I feel I sound really shallow. But moving from feeling as though I have no control over my hair to knowing how to handle it has made the most enormous difference to my life. It makes me more confident, I feel prettier, and I feel proud of my curls. 

Day not going as planned (because it wasn't planned)

Why do some days just make me feel so incompetent? 

Not me, but a stock photo.
This is probably how I look swimming though.

Poor planning yesterday meant that although I wanted to work from home this morning, I didn't have my laptop with me. Poor planning and needing a larger rucksack. 

I only thought to print out a relevant set of powerpoint slides for the meeting I had to go in for when it was too late to print them. Meeting went ok, but I felt unprofessional. 

The jewellers whom I asked to make a ring larger have done something awful to it - the gold is now pitted and discoloured. The guy tried several times to explain that it had either come in like that, which it hadn't, or that this would look normal to me after some time had passed. Thank goodness I wasn't taking my engagement ring to them, just a little gold signet ring. That said, for various reasons this ring is precious too, and I'm sitting here kicking myself repeatedly for being a cheapskate and not going somewhere more reliable. 

Because I didn't go into the office I didn't pick up my towel, so I ended up going swimming without it. And realised once I was already wet. Situation resolved using a combination of the hairdryer and the handful of paper napkins someone gave me yesterday in a cafe. 

And having arrived home, I've realised I'm missing an event at work that I really really wanted to attend. So I'm sitting here kicking myself about that too. 

None of these problems are hugely significant in the grand scheme of things - I do know that. But they were all within my control, and they all feature problems of my own creation due to failings in myself that I've known of for years:

• failure to plan ahead and look up what I'm doing tomorrow/ this afternoon
• impatience, leading me to take the nearest/ quickest option, rather than the best option

As I write this cathartic note, I do see that I recovered well in a number of cases. I coped without the laptop this morning, and I got some work done without it that I couldn't have used it for anyway. I coped without a towel. 

But once again, I am marking my report card "must try harder". 

If anyone's reading this, I'd welcome suggestions for how to become a better prepared person. 

Where can I get the best cup of coffee in Victoria, London?

Today’s random question comes from my recent experiences buying a cup of coffee on the way into work. Despite the fact that this is an expensive and not particularly environmentally friendly habit, I do love getting a cup as I walk to work from Victoria Station. There’s just something good about walking along with one, and in the colder months in the UK it’s a nice way to keep your hands warm as well. Bonus!

Not strictly much to do with coffee, but this is some 
Victoria Street street art and I rather like it.

So what are my criteria for a good cup? I try to consume minimal cow dairy products as they definitely give me stomach problems, so I tend to ask for soy milk.^[1]At home I drink much more almond, hemp, oat etc milks as I’m also not wild about drinking too much soy, but those don’t tend to be on offer in cafes.^[2]

I prefer flat whites. I’m not sure why, but I like the texture better than a latte, and the volume is right – much larger and I feel as though I’m drinking a milkshake. For me, a really good flat white is velvety, not too foamy, and even with soy milk, there’s a kind of creaminess.

I also have decaff most days. A bit like the milk, this isn’t a preference, but I quit caffeine while trying to get pregnant. Since I’m still trying, I’m mostly still off the caffeine. Weirdly, I’ve now got used to this emasculated flat white to a degree that one with real milk and real caffeine tastes odd.

In Victoria Station there are approximately 20 places where you can get coffee, including Cafe Nero’s, Costa, Starbucks, Pret and a few other places. Walk down Victoria Street and you pass at least another 20, including Starbucks and Pret twice each, Leon, and various other chains. If you have a Waitrose card, you can get a free latte (no flat white) but these are milk only and decaf, although that was a happy purse month the month before I quit milk.

In Strutton Ground, there is a stall called Flat Cap Coffee, which I call out because it’s pretty good, although sometimes the coffee tastes a little burnt. It’s also on the pricey side at £2.80 a cup.

While thinking about how to enjoy coffee on a semi regular basis without wasting too much money, I decided to research. This demonstrates just how nerdy I can get about this kind of thing. I had a little table set up on my iPhone and everything. Over a couple of weeks, I bought coffee at all sorts of different places, and I’m proud to present the following table:

Demonstration that I probably take this too seriously

Until I tried Ravello today, I had decided to go for Pret on the basis of both taste and cost, but Ravello surprised me and I may have to rethink...

What does this tell us? First that I really need to get out more. Second that coffee can be enormously variable in price and quality. I did a similar exercise a few years back when I had to travel to Milton Keynes every Tuesday for work, but based only on cafes in Euston station. 

And there for the captive market all the cafes were exactly the same price. Whereas in Victoria, where people are roaming about much more, the prices range considerably. Hmm, there’s some kind of paper in there.

---

[1] The Dutch call coffee with milk ‘koffie verkeerd’, which basically means you’re drinking it wrong. I disagree, and I think this says a lot about the Dutch – no half measures, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do things!

[2] There is a lovely little cafe near St Martin’s in the Fields that makes fresh almond milk every morning. I haven’t tried it yet, but I need to do that before I leave London.

What to do after Couch to 5k, Part the third

So, as someone easily injured (hips, achilles tendon multiple times, IT band problems and - pathetically - terrible blisters on my arches) what is the plan post C25k?

My beautiful On Running trainers. 

I spend some time googling to see what others recommend. And actually there's very little out there. There are suggestions to run a race and hurrahs that you have got up to the 5k level. But not much about what you might do next, how to keep injuries at bay, and how to make running a permanent part of your life. 

Now, I'm by no means qualified to make suggestions on this, so please don't take any of what follows as advice. This is simply my own plan, after several previous false starts. 

• Keep walking upwards of 11 000 steps per day

I have a Fitbit Flex and I love it, I find it very motivating. I befriended a group of people on the forums, only one of whom I actually know, and I am now competing with them. Most days I can walk 11 000 steps provided I walk from the station into work without taking the Tube. 

• Keep running about 3 times per week, 4 if I really feel like it. 

I love running, and often when I've finished a run, I find myself wanting to run more soon. But I know that when I run 5-6 times per week that this reduces time for other forms of exercise, and it can put too much strain on my joints. 

• Do some cross-training. 

I've chosen swimming once per week because it's relatively easy for me to get to, low impact and good for flexibility. I'm great at breaststroke, much worse at front crawl, so the plan may include getting a couple of lessons. 

I go to an amazing yoga class on Tuesdays. The teacher is very experienced, funny and caters well for all abilities (I am not particularly bendy). I've found that since I've been going - about a year - I've got stronger and more flexible. So that will stay. 

• Do some work with body weights

This is going to be the hardest, for two reasons. First, I've quit my gym so I'm much more limited in what I can use. And second, to be honest, I don't really enjoy doing weights. It's boring to me. This is odd, because when I rowed regularly I preferred the weights room. I'm quite stocky and I grow muscle fast, so I tended to be able to lift good weights compared with other people. But when it's just me - boring! Hmm, maybe I need to find a way to motivate myself on weights...

And that's about it. I'd like to run a half marathon someday, and I think I'll run a few 5 and 10ks over the summer. More on those as they come up. 

What to do after Couch to 5k, Part Deux

About 10 weeks ago, I decided to do Couch to 5k again. I keep reading studies like this and suggestions that the Duchess of Cambridge was advised to exercise less before getting pregnant. (No links to that, as I don't want to link to red-tops, but I'm sure it's Google-able.) Plus my mum kept telling me she thought I was exercising too much. This demonstrates more that she has an overblown idea of how much exercise I actually do than anything else. But these things did have an effect and I would start running and then think: 'I'm stopping myself from conceiving!' and feel very guilty. 

However, more recently, I read an article or book about running stress. I can't remember where, but it may have been in Tread Lightly. (will try to come back and edit) Anyway, this noted that although stress hormones are raised when running, the overall effect on the runner is lowered stress hormones as a result of running. Epiphany! Not exercising was doing my head in. Running is my favourite form of exercise, and I missed it. And I was getting fatter, which also couldn't be good for fertility. So let's do a little running - enough to do say a 5 or 10k - but no marathons for a while. 

So I started again, this time using the NHS podcast. Although I think some of the advice given is a bit odd, e.g. the firm advice to heel-plant and to breath on a four steps per full breath (both inhalation and exhalation), it's encouraging to have someone telling me she thinks I'm doing well, and reminding me that the main think is to run and not to fixate on how fast I am. I actually shed a few tears on one of the runs when 'Laura' said "you're doing really well". I kept wanting to say, "yes, but I used to be able to run 20 miles!" but I didn't. 

Mentally, it's quite hard to start from scratch for the 6th or 7th time. To acknowledge your past, fitter self. But I knew that if I was going to make it without injury, I was going to have to take things really slowly. There was no harm in taking my time. As the runs went on, I enjoyed them more. This particular version of Couch to 5k, as opposed to the one in Runner's World's Run Your Butt Off, seems more satisfying. Rather than continuing to use a walking break until about week 9, the NHS podcast calls on you to run continuously from week 7, which is mentally challenging, but physically pleasing. 

I managed every week on schedule, and without injury, which is astonishing. And my reward? A beautiful new running watch. In many ways this is over-engineered for what I need, but I love seeing the data and frankly I think it's a thing of beauty.

My new toy. Honestly, who wouldn't be motivated by this?

So that brings me back to the original question, nearly two posts later. What to do after Couch to 5k? 

The short answer, evidenced by all the times I quit running only to start again (more than the times I quit smoking = twice, the second time being successful for the last 12 years or so), is 'Keep running'. But that covers a fairly wide span. 

I had been thinking I would pick up on the plan for my current speed in Run Less, Run Faster. I even went to the extent of working out my schedule in a spreadsheet. And then I ran my first run with the Garmin. I wasn't paying any attention to my heart rate, and at the end of the run I was shocked to be told by the watch's Recovery Advisor that I needed to take 72 hours to recover. Apparently I had been running at 90% of maximum heart-rate for nearly the whole run. 

My real max heart rate is definitely higher than the one the usual formulae give. In that particular run, which felt hard-ish to me, but not flat out, I peaked at 187 BPM, which is 7 BPM higher than the traditional 220-age and 11 BPM higher than the gender-adjusted 209-(0.9 x age). But even so, I found myself thinking 'What if I trained in the zones appropriate for me? Would this help avoid injury?'. Today I ran 30 minutes aiming for 142-144 BPM. It was the easiest run I've done in ages, and I found myself really enjoying it. 

So I've shelved my plans for Run Less, Run Faster for at least a month. I don't think there's any harm in going slow a little more. At some point I want to move into interval training proper, but I think I'll play with these heart rates for a while and build my base.

What to do after Couch to 5k, Part 1

I've just completed a Couch to 5k programme. Full disclosure: this is my third, or possibly fourth, time 'teaching myself' to run, as I have a habit of getting injured and also of focussing too much on work to the detriment of healthy eating and exercising. 

Occasion 1: While in my second year at university, I decided I wanted to run. I bought shoes and running kit (I honestly had nothing to run in otherwise, but I do admit to being hugely motivated by new kit in any new enterprise. To my shame). I got up early one morning and snuck out. I was so nervous of people seeing me, particularly my housemates, but also all other human beings. I think I made about 5 minutes, all the while thinking: this is just incredibly hard! I didn't run again for years, although I used my kit going to aerobics classes at the gym, which in pre-ipod days was probably much more fun anyway. 

Occasion 2: While rowing fairly seriously at Second University, I decided to add in running. Never really thought about starting slow (For someone quite bright, I can be a really slow learner). This worked fairly well, and I think I kept it up throughout the remainder of my time at uni, at least until I had to write up my thesis. At that point I decided - given limited time and motivation - that I would bribe myself to work as many hours per day as it took to finish on time, as I had a job to go to. This took stopping exercising and eating a lot of food. Breaking up with Serious Boyfriend Number 3 probably also didn't help. 

Occasion 3: Having started the job and been made redundant, I took on a range of awful short term jobs, which also didn't help with stopping me eating too many cakes and chocolate. At one point, I know I weighed the most I have ever weighed. Definitely overweight, though thankfully not obese. During a job in Stroud, I decided I had to get back on the exercise wagon, and both started rowing again (back in London) and running. I can still remember just how awful that first run was, alongside a canal near my office in Stroud. However, the nice thing about exercising and rowing in particular at this point in my life was that the weight just fell off. 

Occasion 4: Rowing treated me well, although I was never more than nearly fast. When I finally quit because honestly it took every weekend over, I carried on running. I think it was about this point that I bought the wonderful Runners Handbook by Bob Glover and took myself through his intermediate training programme. This book, bits of which I probably know off by heart ('Run like a pig') cheered me through the awful parts of trying to run faster, and made me feel like a real runner for the first time. Although bits of it are probably a bit out of date, I would still recommend it to anyone. 

Occasion 5: Never really stopped running, but never got into a proper rhythm. Then did the thing lots of people do (after meeting the Fiancé, although obviously he wasn't that then) and decided to run a marathon. I used Bob Glover's plans fully to do this, and ran the Rotterdam Marathon in 2008. Not fast, but finished. At some point in training, my hips, particularly the RH one, began to seize up after running more than about 10 miles. This carried on through the marathon itself. I never resolved what the problem was, although I now think it was probably to do with having very weak glutes. It just always felt like they needed to go 'click' but I couldn't ever figure what to do to make that happen. 

Running the Rotterdam Marathon, as I head back over the Maas. 
Not doing too badly at this point, which I think was about halfway. 
Hips just beginning to hurt...

Occasion 6 and 7: Both times did a proper Couch to 5k for the first time, which was an eye-opener ('I'm not meant to go all-out as long as I can?') but then fertility treatment got in the way. Anyone who has ever gone through stimulation prior to egg collection will know why. There is no running to be done when your ovaries have swollen approximately to the size of large oranges, and you can feel them bouncing around. 

Going to stop there, as this is a horrendously long post already, and best broken into two parts. 

I'm a big fan of blogs. I love reading other people's life stories, and I can get sucked into spending a lot of time with them so easily. I find myself spending an evening cantering through the last 5 years of another human being's life - at least in terms of what they chose to share with the rest of the Internet. The babies, the divorce, the marriage, the food, the marathons and the gear.

So I've never really set my own one up. Why? I have plenty of things to talk about, but they are all so disjointed. I want to talk about:

• running
• clothes (regular and workout) 
• the fact that I've been trying to get pregnant for nearly 3 years
• my work (up to a point, because I'm not ready to be that honest)
• cooking and food
• shopping and my generalised window shopping envy (living in London on a civil servant's salary = torture)
• random stuff

But most blogs seem to have a theme. 

Then today I thought: Why do I have to have a theme? Why not just go for it? Don't overthink this. I overthink everything. 

So here we go. First post, and already it's about nothing much.